Thursday, August 14, 2003
WHY is it that EVERY time we all go out to the bars, there is an excessive amount of drama?? I just don’t get it. It literally follows us.
Mariah and I showed up at The Hangar around 7pm last night and were unimpressed from the get go. The bar itself was very dark and covered in red lighting. The people were no younger than 47 years old and each of the guys made sure to wear their dirtiest wife beaters. Too bad the amount of wrinkles and flabby arms deterred me from staring at all the bodies. The one good thing is that the happy hour goes until 9pm and it was 2 for 1! I must have downed at least 5 vodka tonics in 2 hours. I was drinking so fast that I had to switch to Baileys. Embarrassing yes, but worth it not to puke? Yes again.
The MINUTE Mariah and I walked into the bar, the “bouncer” (bouncer? hahahaha…he had flames shooting directly out of his ASS) gave us a hard time. He stared at us throughout the duration of the evening and at one point, followed us into the bathroom. Mariah asked him “Why are you watching us and following us around the bar?” His reply was “Cuz I know that you two are going to have sex in my restroom”. WHA?!?!?! Fucking toolbag. It seems that every time Mariah and I go out, we have such a hard time dealing with the other people at the bar. Either they can’t stop putting their hands all over us or they are unbelievably cruel to us because they think we’re straight. It’s fucking frustrating. I was always told that gay men were SO accepting. Fuck that noise.
The straw that broke Mariah’s back was when the “bouncer” came over to her and asked her to “Stop dancing”. When we burst out laughing IN his face, he got the manager and we were told that “dancing was prohibited”. What a fucking LAME place! A bunch of people met us at the bar, I ended up dropping my empty glass on the floor and smashing in right in front of the “bouncer”, Mariah got yet ANOTHER reaming by the fuckhead manager and we knew that it was time to go. On the way out, I looked the “bouncer” right in his ugly face and told him that he "was a disappointment to the gay community” while Paul spit on the floor.
Yet, I still don’t know why poor little us come in contact with so much drama.
hahahaSnarf.
Needless to say, we will NEVER be going back to The Hangar.
Things that I am excited about:
Going to the dermatologist tomorrow! Finally my face will be BEEYOUTIFULL and free of rash-like bullshit.
Starting a semi-regular routine of going out to the gay bars with a group of gay guys. My friend Ian and I are organizing the group and I am so happy to finally be able to have some gay guys to hang out with. I mean, every good gay needs a group like this.
Paul and I are treating each other with respect and kindness. Things are going better than they ever have before. Line of communication = fully open now.
Getting SO much work done at my job this week.
The fact that I am already fully memorized for the play. And as far as I know, the first one to do so.
Got to talk to my brother yesterday for a HALF AN HOUR! The conversation was incredible.
Things that I am NOT excited about:
The back up for Robyn’s part in the show, Ingrid, will be unable to do the role. Now the company will have to re-hold all new auditions because the rest of the girls that had tried out are either not good enough for the part or don’t fit into it in any way.
Had grilled cheese and fries for lunch. It wasn’t my fault though. I promise. I went with my friend, Ian, and he told me that I should get it. I blame him for my jelly rolls…er…belly rolls.
Well, that’s a short list! And surely a good sign that things are going well.
Before I go…I am going to give a brief synapses of The Osbournes season finale so that if you don’t have cable or live on another planet, you will be filled in on what happened Tuesday night. If you don’t want to know, then now is your chance to leave my page and move on out.
SYNAPSES
Seems that Jack Osbourne has a sleepwalking problem. He explains, for the first half of the episode, that he has been having violent sleepwalking attacks where he hurts anyone that wakes him up, etc. This is further proved by film documentation.
Kelly gets into a HUGE fight with her mother that results in the two of them parting ways as manager and client. There is a ton of screaming by Kelly culminating in her HYSTERICALLY dramatic exit from the Osbourne household. Picture her wearing a black wig, tons of make-up and sunglasses, all the while throwing her packed suitcases down the stairs. The entire time, no one notices, although Kelly is pouring her soul into the performance.
One night, Jack is sleeping in his bed. He seems to wake up and notice Minnie (Sharon’s favorite dog) standing next to his bed. Without any hesitation, he grabs Minnie in his arm and pulls her into his bed. At that point, we see him struggle (slightly out of view of the camera) with Minnie and we hear the dog crying for help. Jack twists Minnie’s neck and kills her.
The next morning Jack wakes up to find Minnie’s dead body in his bed. He responds by saying “whoa”. He gets out of bed, somehow wraps up Minnie in a blanket and shoves the dead body in a duffle bag. All the while, Sharon and Ozzy are running around the house screaming Minnie’s name. “Minnie where ARE you? MINNIE!”
Jack is seen running down the stairs and out of the Osbourne house, duffel bag in tow.
A couple of minutes later, the phone rings and Ozzy answers.
Jack: “Dad, I’ve done something really fucked up.”
Ozzy: “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”
J: “Dad, I’ve killed Minnie.”
O: “Wha…wha…(jumbled ex-heroine addict talk)…I…uh…”
J: “Dad, I killed Minnie while I was sleeping. I don’t…I…dad…”
O: “You better not be pulling my leg Jack. This isn’t funny. Jack…”
J: “Dad, Minnie is dead. Don’t tell mom. Please don’t tell her.”
O: “But I have to tell her. Jack I have to tell your mother.”
J: “Oh god dad, Minnie is dead.”
They hang up and the next scene is Ozzy confronting Sharon:
Ozzy: “Sharon, I have terrible news.”
Sharon: “What is it Ozzy? What is it?”
O: “Sharon, Minnie is dead. Minnie is dead.”
S: “You’re just trying to round (wind?) me up. You’re just trying to wind me up.”
O: “Sharon, Minnie is dead. Jack killed Minnie. Minnie is dead.”
S: “Minnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
O: (Crying and shaking uncontrollably) Sharon, I am so sorry. Sharon, Minnie is dead!”
S: MINNIE!
Next scene
Sharon packs up everything that reminds her of Minnie, kisses Ozzy on the forehead, while he’s sleeping, and leaves the house.
The phone rings and Ozzy answers:
O: “Sharon, where are you?”
S: “I had to leave the house. Everything there reminds me of Minnie. I need some time alone.”
O: “Sharon, come home. Sharon please.”
S: “Ozzy, I need to be by myself. I need to be away from the house right now.”
O: (borderline hysterical again) “Sharon don’t do anything dangerous. Sharon don’t do anything dangerous.”
S: “I need to be away from the house.”
O: “Sharon don’t do anything dangerous. Sharon I love you.”
--click—
So, we, the audience, sit staring at the television in complete horror. It was like a nation-wide moment of horrified silence. Everyone processing it in a different way.
After Ozzy gets off the phone with Sharon, he attempts to change the television station. He is unsuccessful and goes to walk up the stairs. That’s when the director calls “Cut!”. The camera pans around and Kelly and Jack are there and Minnie is being held by Sharon! (Although Minnie looked like she had grown by 50 pounds) The show was over and it was all a hoax.
But you tell ME that you didn’t believe in it as it was happening.
Personally, I think that they did this episode, not to make everyone think that the whole show was faked, but to let everyone know how influential the editing of a TV show really is. We, as members of the watching audience, are convinced that everything we see is for real; that we are seeing directly into their house, into their lives. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are only seeing what MTV wants us to see, what MTV wants us to know about the Osbournes. It was their way of reminding us that it is still a television show, afterall.
I LOVED the episode. It was, probably, the most ingenious 30 minutes of television that I have seen over the last couple of months. The whole thing was SO believable. I heard that Sharon, Jack, and Kelly were playing a joke on Ozzy and that’s how the idea of the show came about. Interesting…especially since I took so much more away from it than that.
You must see it in person. But if for some reason you are unable to, I hope this synapses did the episode justice.
It was so unreal. The whole thing.
Happy watching!
Mariah and I showed up at The Hangar around 7pm last night and were unimpressed from the get go. The bar itself was very dark and covered in red lighting. The people were no younger than 47 years old and each of the guys made sure to wear their dirtiest wife beaters. Too bad the amount of wrinkles and flabby arms deterred me from staring at all the bodies. The one good thing is that the happy hour goes until 9pm and it was 2 for 1! I must have downed at least 5 vodka tonics in 2 hours. I was drinking so fast that I had to switch to Baileys. Embarrassing yes, but worth it not to puke? Yes again.
The MINUTE Mariah and I walked into the bar, the “bouncer” (bouncer? hahahaha…he had flames shooting directly out of his ASS) gave us a hard time. He stared at us throughout the duration of the evening and at one point, followed us into the bathroom. Mariah asked him “Why are you watching us and following us around the bar?” His reply was “Cuz I know that you two are going to have sex in my restroom”. WHA?!?!?! Fucking toolbag. It seems that every time Mariah and I go out, we have such a hard time dealing with the other people at the bar. Either they can’t stop putting their hands all over us or they are unbelievably cruel to us because they think we’re straight. It’s fucking frustrating. I was always told that gay men were SO accepting. Fuck that noise.
The straw that broke Mariah’s back was when the “bouncer” came over to her and asked her to “Stop dancing”. When we burst out laughing IN his face, he got the manager and we were told that “dancing was prohibited”. What a fucking LAME place! A bunch of people met us at the bar, I ended up dropping my empty glass on the floor and smashing in right in front of the “bouncer”, Mariah got yet ANOTHER reaming by the fuckhead manager and we knew that it was time to go. On the way out, I looked the “bouncer” right in his ugly face and told him that he "was a disappointment to the gay community” while Paul spit on the floor.
Yet, I still don’t know why poor little us come in contact with so much drama.
hahahaSnarf.
Needless to say, we will NEVER be going back to The Hangar.
Things that I am excited about:
Going to the dermatologist tomorrow! Finally my face will be BEEYOUTIFULL and free of rash-like bullshit.
Starting a semi-regular routine of going out to the gay bars with a group of gay guys. My friend Ian and I are organizing the group and I am so happy to finally be able to have some gay guys to hang out with. I mean, every good gay needs a group like this.
Paul and I are treating each other with respect and kindness. Things are going better than they ever have before. Line of communication = fully open now.
Getting SO much work done at my job this week.
The fact that I am already fully memorized for the play. And as far as I know, the first one to do so.
Got to talk to my brother yesterday for a HALF AN HOUR! The conversation was incredible.
Things that I am NOT excited about:
The back up for Robyn’s part in the show, Ingrid, will be unable to do the role. Now the company will have to re-hold all new auditions because the rest of the girls that had tried out are either not good enough for the part or don’t fit into it in any way.
Had grilled cheese and fries for lunch. It wasn’t my fault though. I promise. I went with my friend, Ian, and he told me that I should get it. I blame him for my jelly rolls…er…belly rolls.
Well, that’s a short list! And surely a good sign that things are going well.
Before I go…I am going to give a brief synapses of The Osbournes season finale so that if you don’t have cable or live on another planet, you will be filled in on what happened Tuesday night. If you don’t want to know, then now is your chance to leave my page and move on out.
SYNAPSES
Seems that Jack Osbourne has a sleepwalking problem. He explains, for the first half of the episode, that he has been having violent sleepwalking attacks where he hurts anyone that wakes him up, etc. This is further proved by film documentation.
Kelly gets into a HUGE fight with her mother that results in the two of them parting ways as manager and client. There is a ton of screaming by Kelly culminating in her HYSTERICALLY dramatic exit from the Osbourne household. Picture her wearing a black wig, tons of make-up and sunglasses, all the while throwing her packed suitcases down the stairs. The entire time, no one notices, although Kelly is pouring her soul into the performance.
One night, Jack is sleeping in his bed. He seems to wake up and notice Minnie (Sharon’s favorite dog) standing next to his bed. Without any hesitation, he grabs Minnie in his arm and pulls her into his bed. At that point, we see him struggle (slightly out of view of the camera) with Minnie and we hear the dog crying for help. Jack twists Minnie’s neck and kills her.
The next morning Jack wakes up to find Minnie’s dead body in his bed. He responds by saying “whoa”. He gets out of bed, somehow wraps up Minnie in a blanket and shoves the dead body in a duffle bag. All the while, Sharon and Ozzy are running around the house screaming Minnie’s name. “Minnie where ARE you? MINNIE!”
Jack is seen running down the stairs and out of the Osbourne house, duffel bag in tow.
A couple of minutes later, the phone rings and Ozzy answers.
Jack: “Dad, I’ve done something really fucked up.”
Ozzy: “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”
J: “Dad, I’ve killed Minnie.”
O: “Wha…wha…(jumbled ex-heroine addict talk)…I…uh…”
J: “Dad, I killed Minnie while I was sleeping. I don’t…I…dad…”
O: “You better not be pulling my leg Jack. This isn’t funny. Jack…”
J: “Dad, Minnie is dead. Don’t tell mom. Please don’t tell her.”
O: “But I have to tell her. Jack I have to tell your mother.”
J: “Oh god dad, Minnie is dead.”
They hang up and the next scene is Ozzy confronting Sharon:
Ozzy: “Sharon, I have terrible news.”
Sharon: “What is it Ozzy? What is it?”
O: “Sharon, Minnie is dead. Minnie is dead.”
S: “You’re just trying to round (wind?) me up. You’re just trying to wind me up.”
O: “Sharon, Minnie is dead. Jack killed Minnie. Minnie is dead.”
S: “Minnieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
O: (Crying and shaking uncontrollably) Sharon, I am so sorry. Sharon, Minnie is dead!”
S: MINNIE!
Next scene
Sharon packs up everything that reminds her of Minnie, kisses Ozzy on the forehead, while he’s sleeping, and leaves the house.
The phone rings and Ozzy answers:
O: “Sharon, where are you?”
S: “I had to leave the house. Everything there reminds me of Minnie. I need some time alone.”
O: “Sharon, come home. Sharon please.”
S: “Ozzy, I need to be by myself. I need to be away from the house right now.”
O: (borderline hysterical again) “Sharon don’t do anything dangerous. Sharon don’t do anything dangerous.”
S: “I need to be away from the house.”
O: “Sharon don’t do anything dangerous. Sharon I love you.”
--click—
So, we, the audience, sit staring at the television in complete horror. It was like a nation-wide moment of horrified silence. Everyone processing it in a different way.
After Ozzy gets off the phone with Sharon, he attempts to change the television station. He is unsuccessful and goes to walk up the stairs. That’s when the director calls “Cut!”. The camera pans around and Kelly and Jack are there and Minnie is being held by Sharon! (Although Minnie looked like she had grown by 50 pounds) The show was over and it was all a hoax.
But you tell ME that you didn’t believe in it as it was happening.
Personally, I think that they did this episode, not to make everyone think that the whole show was faked, but to let everyone know how influential the editing of a TV show really is. We, as members of the watching audience, are convinced that everything we see is for real; that we are seeing directly into their house, into their lives. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are only seeing what MTV wants us to see, what MTV wants us to know about the Osbournes. It was their way of reminding us that it is still a television show, afterall.
I LOVED the episode. It was, probably, the most ingenious 30 minutes of television that I have seen over the last couple of months. The whole thing was SO believable. I heard that Sharon, Jack, and Kelly were playing a joke on Ozzy and that’s how the idea of the show came about. Interesting…especially since I took so much more away from it than that.
You must see it in person. But if for some reason you are unable to, I hope this synapses did the episode justice.
It was so unreal. The whole thing.
Happy watching!
